Moving to a Memory Care Facility? Here’s What to Expect

Opportunity to Think ‘Big Picture’

Often, an aging parent or loved one who has dementia or Alzheimer’s will move in with their adult children with the best intentions. Unfortunately, this naturally takes its toll on the family as they cannot always provide the 24-hour care that is often needed to ensure your loved one is safe, cared for, stimulated, and comfortable. 

As social beings who care for our own, we naturally want what’s best for an aging parent, and taking them in after dementia or Alzheimer’s diagnosis is in some instances unavoidable. Of course, we do this with the absolute best of intentions, bearing in mind that we care for our seniors just as they cared for us while growing up. The reality, however, is that taking in a senior with dementia or Alzheimer’s is not feasible for most families. 

The good news is this – if you’ve decided to place your loved one in a suitable memory care facility, you will feel the weight lifted from your shoulders. Getting rid of unnecessary stress, in turn, will enable you to take a step back and assess the situation more clearly. As a result, you will notice previously occupied threads of worry vanishing. No more stressing about securing all the entry and exits paths to your home or ensuring you avail yourself of every meal to assist Mom or Dad.  You now have time to focus on the bigger picture – getting your loved one settled so both parties can resume their lives in relative peace.

Downsizing for Memory Care

Now that you’ve been able to clear the cobwebs, your next step may be to assist your aging loved one to downsize, or de-clutter ahead of their move to a memory care facility. If an aging loved one is currently living with you and your family, now is a good time to roll up your sleeves and throw out unnecessary excess, while preserving that which carries real sentiment and value. 

It’s always important to distinguish between items that your loved one needs to use on a daily basis, items that will enable your loved one to feel at home in their new surroundings, and finally, items that are known to trigger happy memories. In most cases, the move from a family home to a memory care facility entails some serious downsizing, so take a firm stance where possible and think critically about the items you choose to throw away.

Moving Day Assistance

Moving is stressful at any age. Yet, moving an aging loved one to a long-term memory care facility carries its brand of chaos, stress, and disharmony for all involved.

While it is a noble pursuit to try and do everything yourself, be open to the idea that you may need help from a professional moving company. Once you have this arranged, there are some additional things to keep in mind when moving a senior who has dementia or Alzheimer’s:

• Tell your aging loved one about the move regularly, but not too far in advance. Oversharing may cause unnecessary anxiety on their part.
• Make mental notes of items they use regularly or items that invoke positive memories for them but be wary of involving them in too many non-essential decisions regarding packing. This may be overwhelming for them or may cause unnecessary disharmony.
• Arrange the actual move for a day or time that you know is ‘safe to do so. For example, if your senior is prone to being more difficult in the afternoons, opt for a morning move instead. Are some days of the week more disruptive for your loved one than others? Choose a day that you know will have fewer distractions than usual to facilitate a smoother process for all.
• Where possible, try and unpack their room to create a sense of familiarity ahead of their arrival. Include items used daily, items that invoke positive memories, and items that carry real sentiment for your senior. A little goes a long way when adjusting to new surroundings.

Embracing the Transition to Memory Care

Remember that every person’s timeline for adapting to new surroundings and change is vastly different. So prepare yourself for an uncertain couple of weeks post-move to allow your aging loved one time to settle into memory care. 

Now that your senior’s needs are taken care of by professionals, it’s essential to use the time you’ve won to create a visitation plan of action. You can do this with members of your family or trusted loved ones. The purpose of a visitation action plan is to ensure that your aging parent receives fair and frequent visits from everyone in the family. In addition, a visitation action plan provides balanced socializing with various people, ensures everyone is clear on expectations, and keeps your senior stimulated. 

Try to familiarize yourself with the care plan prescribed to your loved one by their physician. It’s important to know what primary treatment, therapy, and medications are defined so you can be an informed advocate for your parent or loved one when needed. It’s also a good idea to get to know the skilled staff at the facility. Having a good report with a trained nurse or caregiver who takes regular care of your aging loved one can be highly beneficial in times of crisis.

Practice Daily Positivity

Simply saying ‘stay positive’ to someone going through a tough transition to memory care does not always cut the mustard. You may still be battling with some lingering feelings of guilt if your parent had to move out of your home to a memory care facility – this is true for so many of us. 

Being positive comes naturally for some, yet for others, it requires a concerted effort, and that’s okay. Try and make a conscious effort each day to list the positives of moving your aging parent or loved one to a memory care facility. If lists don’t appeal to you, try and isolate one thing that used to cause you stress and discomfort around your aging parent, which is no longer an issue. 

You may have heard the saying ‘anxiety has a habit of jumping around the room’, well, the opposite can also be true. If your demeanor is calm and positive, there is a good chance that this will influence your loved one’s mental disposition, one pleasant visit at a time.

Making Use of Memory Care Amenities and Services

Encourage your loved one to participate in some of the activities offered at their new memory care facility. As a standard, memory care facilities provide the following:

• Help with activities of daily living (ADLs)
• Preparing and serving meals
• Laundry and housekeeping services
• General maintenance tasks (both inside and outside)
• 24-hour access to skilled nurses or medical personnel
• Transportation services (weekly groceries, social events, doctor’s appointments)

Specially designed security features for memory care facilities may include:

• Door alarms or lock pads to ensure resident safety and to prevent wandering
• Keypad locks at all entry and exit points of the facility
• Security cameras surveilling all known entry and exit points of the facility
• Personal medical alert systems for patients who are at higher risk of falling, hurting themselves, or wandering

Some amenities generally found in memory care facilities include:

• Fitness classes held at the activities centre
• Secured indoor and outdoor courtyards
• Indoor or outdoor swimming pools
• Dedicated dining rooms
• Lounges for residents
• Dedicated game rooms