How to Talk to Your Senior with Dementia

Talking to your senior with dementia can be extremely difficult. If you’re not aware of the pitfalls, you run the risk of upsetting yourself or your loved one. In this article, we will be sharing some pointers on how to effectively talk to your senior with dementia.

Is there a correct way to talk to your senior with dementia? There is no rulebook. Some conversations will remind you of a time before the dementia diagnosis, while others may leave you feeling helpless and frustrated. This is because the damage dementia does to the brain changes the way your senior hears, processes, and responds to the conversation. So, how do you go about talking to your senior with dementia?

Keep distractions to a minimum when talking to your senior with dementia.

Zero distractions mean no blaring TV, no radio, no technology. Instead, try and keep the space free from anything that could cause your senior’s mind to wander. People with dementia can find it difficult to concentrate in any environment, including their own home. People with Alzheimer’s or dementia have more difficulty expressing their thoughts and emotions. They also have more trouble understanding others. Can you imagine trying to talk to your senior who may already be struggling to express themselves, and then have a room full of noise and distraction? 

Speak as you usually would, gestures and all.

Be mindful not to raise your voice (unless your senior has difficulty hearing) and to speak in a standard, relaxed tone. If you’re calm, you have a greater chance of keeping the atmosphere calm too. It is also important to note that using hand gestures can sometimes save a wandering mind. If this is your usual way of conversing, don’t change anything. If you’re prone to speaking without making use of your hands, don’t force it. A reassuring gesture or even holding your senior’s hand can go a long way.

Keep using names, even if it means repeating them.

When referring to yourself or others, call them by their first names. Even if this seems silly or repetitive, it may assist in keeping your senior’s interest piqued and can facilitate short-term recall. Repeating names takes some practice, so don’t stress if you don’t get it right the first or fourth time. While you may see your loved one several times during a day, each visit may feel like the first for them. Repeating names remind your senior with dementia that you are still talking to them and can help maintain their concentration.

Stick to one topic at a time.

Where possible, try and finish off one topic when talking to your senior before starting another one. Bouncing between ideas and talking non-stop will no doubt cause confusion and an eventual breakdown in communication. Instead, it might be a good idea to check in with your senior before moving on to the next topic. Again, remember to keep your sentences short.

Use nonverbal cues to facilitate understanding.

Making eye contact to convey seriousness or smiling at the right time goes a long way in facilitating a meaningful two-way interaction with your senior. Nodding your head in agreement or giving a thumbs-up can also be beneficial. Finally, if your senior is experiencing a good day, a gentle pat on the back or loving caress can do wonders.

Avoid asking too many questions when talking to your senior with dementia.

When confronted with too many questions to answer at once, your senior may become completely overwhelmed. Stick to simple ‘yes’ and ‘no’ questions initially. Once the ice has been broken, and you can assess their level of alertness and receptiveness on the given day, you can introduce more in-depth questions.

Get creative when communicating.

Research indicates that using various mediums to communicate with someone with dementia can go a long way in establishing better understanding. For example, if you notice that traditional methods of conversing, like talking, is too much of an ask on a given day – switch it up with a song to convey your feelings. Using visual cues such as emotion cards can also assist. Smell is a valuable tool to communicate feelings or emotions too. Use your creativity and observe the results. You never know, something as simple as a happy song could really help you when trying to talk to your senior with dementia.

Practice patience when talking to your senior with dementia.

Easier said than done for some. Staying patient can sometimes seem like an impossible task, especially if your senior has a bad cognitive day. Remind yourself that no one chooses dementia or Alzheimer’s, and try to imagine if the shoe were on the other foot for a second. Another pointer is to avoid interrupting your senior at all costs. Interruption may trigger a negative emotion which may cause a communication breakdown. Response times may also be delayed, which can cause frustration. Again. Practice patience.

Understand that dementia has ebbs and flows.

One of the devastating effects of dementia is that it can be unpredictable. This unpredictability can cause mass confusion amongst family and loved ones. On good days when your senior is alert and has a good recall of recent events, it may create the impression that they are ‘back to normal.’ With dementia, this is unfortunately not the case. It’s important to note that there will be good and bad days.

Be aware that communication can be difficult.

Dementia is an illness that can isolate seniors in their hour of need, as communicating with a senior who has dementia can be exceptionally difficult. Don’t forget that dementia affects certain parts of the brain—the temporal lobes—which are responsible for helping us learn new things. We’re all human, and to get frustrated or demotivated is entirely natural. Once you recognize this side effect for what it is, you may be able to practice more patience when conversing with your senior.

*Disclaimer: The information contained in this blog is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient/site visitor and his or her immediate family, physician, or other care providers.